The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Getting a Divorce

After having done thousands of mediations, the Divorce Mediation Institute of Utah began to track and measure commonalities between different divorcing couples. Our results were very telling. This report is a result of that research.

1) Following the well-intended advice of friends and family.

Everybody has his or her own legal interpretation of how your divorce will end up. This frame of reference is usually based on legal entertainment shows or a friend who had a cousin who was divorced and got this or that type of settlement. While some of this advice might be true, you need to remember that your divorce is like a fingerprint. There is not any other one like it. Nobody else had your kids, nobody else had your exact situation and if you go to court, you will have a completely different set of attorneys and judges. Don’t adopt unrealistic expectations from well-intended but misinformed and subjective sources!

2) Thinking you will get to tell your side of the story to a judge and that a judge will punish your spouse for being a bad person!

Instead, here’s what happens: your case will be given (at most) 20 minutes at each hearing where your attorney will be speaking for you.  To get an idea of what to expect at a hearing, take a little field trip down to the Scott Matheson Court House in Salt Lake! On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, the commissioners on the third floor hear different divorce issues. The judge does not want to hear why your spouse is a bad person or why your life has been turned upside down because of your spouse’s selfishness. The judge also won’t hand out any punishment to your spouse because he or she is an evil person.  Utah law favors divorces without fault. The only time fault might be considered in the courtroom is in calculating alimony, and that is rare.

3) (The Killer): Assuming a judge can make better decisions than you can.

It is amazing that two reasonably normal and decent people would rather let a Judge in a court of law determine how their children will be parented, rather than come up with a plan on their own. An order a Judge imposes on you will likely not be better than one you come up with because you each understand what is most important and what your family needs are.
After all, you know what’s best for your children!

To learn more about how to avoid these and other common mistakes call a Divorce Mediator at the Divorce Mediation Institute of Utah at 801-568-0789 or toll free at 866-WE AGREE.